Vice and Other Advice

It's easy to feel hurt when people don't reach out to us. Why waste time on someone who isn't putting in an equal amount of effort? Nine out of ten times, this logic is acceptable. However, sometimes the best friendships take a little extra effort to unearth. I recall a time meeting one of my best friends in school. The first time we met, we barely spoke. She didn't seem too interested in talking or hanging out. I wanted to get to know her better, but I felt vibes that she didn't care too much. At this point, perhaps I should have stopped- she evidently didn't   want to be my friend. I convinced myself that we probably didn't have anything in common or that she was too cool for me. Despite this feeling, I still made light talk with her in class. Then, when I invited her to hangout, I again got vibes that she didn't care about my time. Again, perhaps I should have stopped there, but something told me to give her another chance. And I'm glad I did. ...

WARNING- This is more of a personal statement than good advice. It’s just me typing out the nebulous thoughts in my head that I need to clear out. Read if you want. It’s a fact- I worry too much. I worry about what people think of me, I worry about handling my college classes, I worry about my family, I worry about my social life, I worry about my health, and I worry about my future.   Sometimes, I get too caught up in worrying about all these things, especially the first and last- what people think of me and my future. Worrying too much about what people will say for some of your actions mentally restricts you from trying new things. How are we supposed to know what’s actually good for us just based on other people’s judgments? Recently, I went through formal recruitment and joined a sorority. As of two weeks ago, becoming a sorority girl never crossed my mind. Going through recruitment was just something I did to meet new people and try new things, and somehow I ended up g...

I've never liked the squad-mentality of friendship. The whole " if one person doesn't like her, we ALL don't like her" attitude is faulty. In spite of the loyalty we may owe our friends' judgement, it's not fair for us to let one person's judgement spoil our own. Girls talk about each other. A lot. There's no such things as secrets sometimes, and if you've messed with one of my friends, chances are we've talked about you. A lot. It's just what we do. In the moment, we may discuss one's distrustful or disgusting nature based on a bad experience a friend has had. But most often, my interactions with some of the people we discuss have never been short of positive. When our trusted friends narrate the encounters they have with people, some details can accidentally get exaggerated. Perhaps they misread the facial cues and tones they relay for us to form a judgement on the people they speak of. On numerous occasions, I've heard my...

"Don't let anyone change your dreams." Well, unless your dreams are uh... outdated . There's something magical and inspiring about individuals who follow through with every word they say. It takes a lot of willpower to stay driven and focused on something for an extended period of time. This is a skill we all rightfully strive for in certain aspects of life. However, some aspects of life deserve a little more flexibility. I was always ashamed to admit that I changed my life goals and ambitions quite frequently. I was dead set on becoming a research doctor for a majority of high school, but I suddenly reoriented myself for a future void of any lab science at all. Evidently, that’s okay- no one expects you to know what you want to do at such a young age. However, people do often tell us to “never let go of your dreams”. What no one really mentions is that it’s okay for your dreams to change. It’s always inspiring and warming when someone fulfills their c...

Maybe the title is a little misleading. No, not being able to send group snapchats was not exactly the "first world problem" I had in mind. By "first world problems", I literally mean problems faced by regular humans living in the first world. ~ I wish we could compare our pains, but we really can't. Ever. I'll be honest. I've been down in the dumps, but haven't we all? I often downplay whatever I'm dealing with because I know there are bigger problems people face in the world. With this mentality, I've lived in a shallow pit of self-loathing, calling myself petty and ungrateful (which I still cannot deny). But why I am in this pit in the first place? Because I could have ended up in a place much worse. And that's why I downplay everything I've ever faced. I felt as if it didn't matter because things are much worse for a large percentage of the world. With that in the back of my head, my mind jeers at every challen...

I finally cleaned out my room. I have a tendency of holding onto everything I feel has sentimental value- including essays, notes from a favorite class, club shirts, receipts from new cafe adventures. Some of these things I still refuse to let go (minus some irrelevant and on second thought crappy high school notes), but I took a second glance at my mountain of school shirts I've been saving as memories. Was I really going to haul a bunch of Beta Club and Science Olympiad shirts with me to college? Did I really need that many shirts as backup PJs? No. As I participated in clubs and volunteered at major events, the t-shirts I got were a major award to hold onto and literally wear. But now, I feel as if high school memorabilia has nothing on what college holds. I won't say high school wasn't an enjoyable time. I definitely learned a lot and am super thankful for the crazy experiences I've had. I've matured slightly and met a variety of personalities; these things ha...

We often consider what it means to be "genuine" or what it means to be "fake". Let us begin by first defining the teenaged word "fake". fake- the quality of being double-sided and having a forced or social norm-shaped personality. The opposite is considered "genuine". genuine- the quality of reflecting every emotion truthfully and maintaining consistency with thoughts and actions. It seems evident that we should all strive to be genuine. But what if our thoughts and true emotions are dark and indecent? I can't help if a certain personality annoys me or if what someone says does not sit well with me. However, as a mature being, I would not need to tell said person exactly how I feel. Sometimes, it's best to keep your thoughts to yourself. We've always been told that "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all". We will be in good hands if we follow this advice often, but realisticall...

I'm sure someone does, but the flock only pays attention to those with publicity. Think about all the all-nighters that are pulled to make this world work. Recognition is not given to everyone who needs it, and dealing with that fact can be tough on people who have such selfish personalities as myself. People complain about things much easier than what you may be dealing with, and they may be receiving more sympathy for whatever they struggle with. Sometimes, we get so busy with work that we don't even have time to complain about it. Meanwhile, those who still have the energy to whine get the sympathy. I don't mean to sound so shallow, but don't kid yourself into believing that all hard work pays off with recognition. And that's life. At the same time, if we feel this way, realize that millions of people feel this way too. This doesn't mean we should just stop working hard the moment we realize we won't be recognized. We must just deal with this fact and...

We don't remember the mediocre first impressions; we tend to remember the extremes- the bad impressions and the extremely good impressions. What sucks is that a "bad" first impression really depends on who you ask (well, apart from the universally accepted things like hygiene). What also sucks is that it's impossible to prepare for every single first impression you're about to make. We have to account for the unplanned, like meeting your future interviewer as you overtake them on the highway, or seeing that person you've social-media stalked at the gym. What sucks the most though is that impressions tend to stick, and regardless of how much you change, a sticky and bad first impression can hinder others from experiencing your glo' up. This isn't necessarily true, but I'm guilty of letting my first impression of someone dictate how much I chose to befriend them. Regardless, being too conscious of your first impression on someone can work to ...