It's easy to feel hurt when people don't reach out to us. Why waste time on someone who isn't putting in an equal amount of effort? Nine out of ten times, this logic is acceptable. However, sometimes the best friendships take a little extra effort to unearth.
I recall a time meeting one of my best friends in school. The first time we met, we barely spoke. She didn't seem too interested in talking or hanging out. I wanted to get to know her better, but I felt vibes that she didn't care too much. At this point, perhaps I should have stopped- she evidently didn't want to be my friend. I convinced myself that we probably didn't have anything in common or that she was too cool for me. Despite this feeling, I still made light talk with her in class. Then, when I invited her to hangout, I again got vibes that she didn't care about my time. Again, perhaps I should have stopped there, but something told me to give her another chance. And I'm glad I did.
Slowly, she opened up to me. Soon after we became best friends, I laughed and told her about how I felt when we first met. To my surprise, she told me that she worried we wouldn't have anything in common either or that I wouldn't think highly of her. We both laughed at how off we were and how much better we became through our friendship. Sure, it required me to forgive and put in extra effort, but I made a new friend because of it. In fact, it was one of the few friendships that defined a part of my high school journey.
The reason I bring this up is because I often wonder if I forgive too easily. I put in a lot of effort to build friendships or stay connected. You'd think I'd realize the inefficiency of consistently putting in effort when the other party doesn't reciprocate, but I make excuses to continue my behavior. In most cases, I'd do anything to not lose an old friend or to make a new one. I think this drive of mine comes from the fact that I am naturally lazy. My natural self forgets to keep up with friends and family, so my proactive self takes the effort to not let my laziness get the best of me.
Whatever my reasoning may be, I know from experience that some of my best friendships stemmed from forgiveness. But where is the line between a little activation energy and trying too hard? Wherever you chose to draw it.
I recall a time meeting one of my best friends in school. The first time we met, we barely spoke. She didn't seem too interested in talking or hanging out. I wanted to get to know her better, but I felt vibes that she didn't care too much. At this point, perhaps I should have stopped- she evidently didn't want to be my friend. I convinced myself that we probably didn't have anything in common or that she was too cool for me. Despite this feeling, I still made light talk with her in class. Then, when I invited her to hangout, I again got vibes that she didn't care about my time. Again, perhaps I should have stopped there, but something told me to give her another chance. And I'm glad I did.
Slowly, she opened up to me. Soon after we became best friends, I laughed and told her about how I felt when we first met. To my surprise, she told me that she worried we wouldn't have anything in common either or that I wouldn't think highly of her. We both laughed at how off we were and how much better we became through our friendship. Sure, it required me to forgive and put in extra effort, but I made a new friend because of it. In fact, it was one of the few friendships that defined a part of my high school journey.
The reason I bring this up is because I often wonder if I forgive too easily. I put in a lot of effort to build friendships or stay connected. You'd think I'd realize the inefficiency of consistently putting in effort when the other party doesn't reciprocate, but I make excuses to continue my behavior. In most cases, I'd do anything to not lose an old friend or to make a new one. I think this drive of mine comes from the fact that I am naturally lazy. My natural self forgets to keep up with friends and family, so my proactive self takes the effort to not let my laziness get the best of me.
Whatever my reasoning may be, I know from experience that some of my best friendships stemmed from forgiveness. But where is the line between a little activation energy and trying too hard? Wherever you chose to draw it.
Sometimes a little activation energy sets a bomb off. Thanks for sharing and adding a little ~activation energy~. :)
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