Skip to main content

9. Sometimes Friendships Need a Little Activation Energy

It's easy to feel hurt when people don't reach out to us. Why waste time on someone who isn't putting in an equal amount of effort? Nine out of ten times, this logic is acceptable. However, sometimes the best friendships take a little extra effort to unearth.

I recall a time meeting one of my best friends in school. The first time we met, we barely spoke. She didn't seem too interested in talking or hanging out. I wanted to get to know her better, but I felt vibes that she didn't care too much. At this point, perhaps I should have stopped- she evidently didn't want to be my friend. I convinced myself that we probably didn't have anything in common or that she was too cool for me. Despite this feeling, I still made light talk with her in class. Then, when I invited her to hangout, I again got vibes that she didn't care about my time. Again, perhaps I should have stopped there, but something told me to give her another chance. And I'm glad I did.

Slowly, she opened up to me. Soon after we became best friends, I laughed and told her about how I felt when we first met. To my surprise, she told me that she worried we wouldn't have anything in common either or that I wouldn't think highly of her. We both laughed at how off we were and how much better we became through our friendship. Sure, it required me to forgive and put in extra effort, but I made a new friend because of it. In fact, it was one of the few friendships that defined a part of my high school journey.

The reason I bring this up is because I often wonder if I forgive too easily. I put in a lot of effort to build friendships or stay connected. You'd think I'd realize the inefficiency of consistently putting in effort when the other party doesn't reciprocate, but I make excuses to continue my behavior. In most cases, I'd do anything to not lose an old friend or to make a new one. I think this drive of mine comes from the fact that I am naturally lazy. My natural self forgets to keep up with friends and family, so my proactive self takes the effort to not let my laziness get the best of me.

Whatever my reasoning may be, I know from experience that some of my best friendships stemmed from forgiveness. But where is the line between a little activation energy and trying too hard? Wherever you chose to draw it.



Comments

  1. Sometimes a little activation energy sets a bomb off. Thanks for sharing and adding a little ~activation energy~. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

12. Selective Spirituality is OK.

I was never too connected to my roots. At most, I’d slip in an out of cultural appreciation when cultural festivals were around the corner, or I’d occasionally look out into the nature and wonder how the world around us came to be. But sometimes I’d feel guilty for feeling entitled to these thoughts of awe and amazement at the universe- I thought I was the least spiritual p erson on the planet. I used to roll my eyes when people I knew talked about spiritual matters. I tuned it out. I thought being spiritual was lame or unrealistic. The world was just a result of chemical reactions to me. But sometimes , I realized it was a result of beautiful and awe-inspiring chemical reactions. I was under some angsty impression of myself that getting spiritual once in a while just didn’t fit my vibe. But more recently, I’ve realized it’s a blessing to see some of the things we see. I’ve gotten more in touch with my emotional side, and a lot more things move me than they did befo...

6. Always Question Yourself

"Don't let anyone change your dreams." Well, unless your dreams are uh... outdated . There's something magical and inspiring about individuals who follow through with every word they say. It takes a lot of willpower to stay driven and focused on something for an extended period of time. This is a skill we all rightfully strive for in certain aspects of life. However, some aspects of life deserve a little more flexibility. I was always ashamed to admit that I changed my life goals and ambitions quite frequently. I was dead set on becoming a research doctor for a majority of high school, but I suddenly reoriented myself for a future void of any lab science at all. Evidently, that’s okay- no one expects you to know what you want to do at such a young age. However, people do often tell us to “never let go of your dreams”. What no one really mentions is that it’s okay for your dreams to change. It’s always inspiring and warming when someone fulfills their c...

8. It's All In Your Head.

WARNING- This is more of a personal statement than good advice. It’s just me typing out the nebulous thoughts in my head that I need to clear out. Read if you want. It’s a fact- I worry too much. I worry about what people think of me, I worry about handling my college classes, I worry about my family, I worry about my social life, I worry about my health, and I worry about my future.   Sometimes, I get too caught up in worrying about all these things, especially the first and last- what people think of me and my future. Worrying too much about what people will say for some of your actions mentally restricts you from trying new things. How are we supposed to know what’s actually good for us just based on other people’s judgments? Recently, I went through formal recruitment and joined a sorority. As of two weeks ago, becoming a sorority girl never crossed my mind. Going through recruitment was just something I did to meet new people and try new things, and somehow I ended up g...